Wired For Noise

Last night was Trick or Treat. Don’t get me started on how much it annoys me when they don’t have it on the actual Halloween.

It was still fun. The boys had a blast getting dressed up and going out after dark. And once we found a group of families to move with they were thrilled. A had his first taste of candy, a bright purple sucker that he screamed and cried over until I finally opened it and stuck it in his mouth. He carried it around, purple slobber rolling down his cheeks for the rest of the evening. When the sugar hit him he started dancing in circles. Ahhhh, pure sugar rush.

Ar you ready for the biggest give away on the internet? Then head ovr to the Fall Y’all giveaway! I love it. Hundreds of bloggers join together to give away more goodies that you could imagine for one whole week. You have to check out all the stuff that is being given away!

I’ve got 3 prizes up for grabs. A set of homeschooling books, a set of craft books, and a yummy bath set. And my uber-pregnant friend Eden has a fabulous rice pillow that she made herself. If you ar pregnant or know someone who is you want that pillow!

Go! Play! Win stuff!

Magic Cabin is offering $4.99 shipping right now on orders over $50. Use coupon code MC59 from now until December 14th.

Have I mentioned how much I love Magic Cabin? They have the cutest toys! Like this:

And this:

$50 is almost too easy to spend there. I swear if I won the lottery I would keep them in business all by myself. LOL

Jo wrote a book review on a book with a plot based on reincarnation. It got me thinking on a few things and I thought, since it is the full moon tonight, I would get a little religious.

Gah! PPD and religion in one week? I’m really coming out of my shell here.

It’s no big secret that I’m pagan. I’m not always the best pagan, but darn it I try. Tonight being one of those nights when trying hopefully means more than doing. Now first I have to address a common misconception about pagans. Not all pagans are Wiccans. No really, some are actually pretty hostile towards Wicca. It’s like saying all Christians are Catholic, not at all true and said to the wrong person might get you slapped. Even among those who are the same pagan group there are sure to be lots of differences, so tread lightly before saying “all pagans do…” or “all pagans believe…”

Clear? OK!

Tonight, being the full moon, is the end of the year for me. I know that many if not most celebrate strictly on October 31st, but i don’t feel that Nature checks the calender on my wall. Or maybe She does, if only to bring rain on the days I need it to be sunny. I follow a year more closely related the the natural cycles, one more lunar and solar than Roman. Yes, I do till celebrate New Year’s Eve on December 31st. I’m not cut off from the society I live in, I just have my own little culture as well. So, tonight marks the end of the year. Maybe. The last full moon before the first frost to be technical, which may or may not be tonight. It’s complicated when one doesn’t depend totally on knowing the cycles for their very livelihood, and with the climate changing as it does. It can also be the closest full moon to the moment between the Fall Equinox and the Winter Solstice, which would put it more around the first half of November. But to keep it simple I do it tonight. Though, I’ll admit, as my personal feelings change I am looking to change the date to one I feel better suiting. I’m looking more to the dark moon.

OK, are you caught up or confused on my pagan weirdness? Want to be even more lost? While tonight ends the year for me, it does not start anew until December. From now until the Solstice is Void Time, time without time. Yeah, that usually has even other pagans scratching their heads. See, I’m far too odd for my own good.

So what was the point of this rambling? There wasn’t one. I was just feeling inspired and wanted to ramble a bit on it.

If you spent any time this week reading mothers’ blogs you probably ran into the Mothers Act Day on the 24th. It was a day when women were reaching out and talking about Postpartum Depression and asking others to get involved by calling their Senators and urging them to support the MOTHERS Act.

Did you call?

After A was born I was deep in PPD. Sure I acted happy and put on a good show, but alone in my room at night all I could do was cry. I felt like a failure, like the worst mother ever. The constant heartbreak was almost too much and I fantasized how much better off my kids would be if I just went out to the garage and made it stop. That thought seemed to consume anything else. For months I could be found smiling and chatting while in the back of my head was the constant recording of how much better my kids would be without me. I told no one, I hid it from the world. I played the part of the ecstatic new mother while secretly dying inside.

I still remember going over this checklist and scoring a 63. Anything over 40 it tells you to see your doctor immediately.

And honestly, the fact that I’m such a “boob nazi” as I’ve been called is probably what saved me. As much as I wanted to end the pain the thought of my child not being breastfed hurt worse. So I suffered through, counting the days until I could wean without guilt and feel free to make it all go away. And slowly, day by day, I felt better. (side note, formula feeding is a “significant risk factor” for PPD)

Can I write a real post? Let’s see!

I made the bread Christine shared. OMG it is soooo good! And so easy too. Even Dearest, Mr. I don’t eat anything remotely healthy, wolfed down a chunk. I made a huge pot of homemade chili and we all sat around dipping the bread into it. So good. Then, because my southern charms were creeping out, I made homemade chicken and noodles (with real chicken even!), mashed potatoes, and we finished off the last of the bread. I was in heaven. Now I need to get more flour and yeast.

Dearest teases me that I need to be waiting for him with an apron on and my hair in a beehive. Homemade bread, homemade laundry detergent, knitting and sewing going on every day. I’m freaking June Cleaver!

Except I doubt June has a 16 month old who nursed every 10 minutes and refused to sleep at night. The kid crawls out of bed nearly every night. I love cosleeping, and I swore I would do it forever, but right now he needs a crib to be safe. Or a dog crate, I’m debating that one. E was the same way. Could open the loudest door without a sound, sneak away without waking me, and destroy the house while I dream peacefully. I can’t even count the thousands of dollars of cat food E destroyed in his nightly wanderings. I can’t do that again.

I’m so behind on my blog roll. Trying to write, write, write leaves no time to read, read, read. Forgive me? I’ll bake you homemade bread.

E has been doing amazingly better. We cut out about 90% of the milk he was drinking, and switched down to 1% for his cereal and a random glass here or there. I’m more convinced than ever it was milk causing him to act out. We’ve still got an appointment on the 1st, so hopefully I can get my hunch made official.

food, kids, cosleeping,

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