Spank Out Day

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It’s late and I apologize, but today is/was National Spank out Day.

SpankOut Day USA was initiated in 1998 to give widespread attention to the need to end corporal punishment of children and to promote non-violent ways of teaching children appropriate behavior. EPOCH-USA (End Physical Punishment of Children) sponsors SpankOut Day USA on April 30th of each year. All parents, guardians, and caregivers are encouraged to refrain from hitting children on this day, and to seek alternative methods of discipline through programs available in community agencies, churches and schools.

I’m against spanking as a form of punishment. Despite the cute names people may like to use taking your hand to another human being is hitting. Hitting. Children should not be hit.

I’ve written before my thoughts that spanking does not equal discipline. Some people have the mistaken idea that a parent who does not spank simple lets their kids run wild without correcting or guiding them. This black and white, one way or the other type thought often prevents them from seeing the benefits of choosing not to hit my children, and the dangers of them choosing to hit theirs. I believe in disciplining children, not punishing.

My own reasons for not spanking are based in my reality. Spanking may teach my child to listen to me and obey me immediately, however that is not the kind of child I want and not the kind of child I hope to nurture. Rather than a person who obeys authority figures without question and respects his elders on nothing more than they are his elders, I hope to raise an adult who asks questions like why and learns to respect others because they have earned the respect by their actions. I also want my children to understand cause and effect. In my day to day life there are many things that I choose to do or not to do, and none of those decisions are based on fear of being hit. If I speed in my car, steal from the store, or break other people’s property nothing will result in being hit by those in charge. There is simply no basis in my daily life to explain doing to my child what I would not allow to happen to me. Children learn through example I cannot teach my children that their actions will be physically punished and then expect them not to do the same to others. Unfortunately my experiences have taught me that the child who is spanked at home is the one more likely to push or hit another child at the park. Even the lightest tap can be humiliating and embarrassing for the child, not something that any person of any age should experience.

As Doc says so bluntly:

There’s no recognized research that says that spanking is good for a child, and tons that say it isn’t. It’s a lazy, stupid way to parent.

For more information visit Project No Spank, The Center For Effective Discipline, and Gentle Christian Mothers. Also be sure to read what others have said about this issue at the Thinking Parent’s Wiki. Not sure what to do when spanking is taken out of the equasion? Enjoy this video of alternatives.

[tags]spanking, children, parenting, Spank Out Day[/tags]

Tags: children, parenting, Spank Out Day, spanking

I’ve Got A Bad Habit

[A little old school Offspring for you in the title]

I’m addicted to sugar. Insanely, passionately addicted. It’s half the reason my butt is too big for most chairs and my gut hangs out of my shirts. Of course the other half of the reason is that I’m lazy, but that’s besides the point here.

I wish I could just say no, but I’m not half as strong as Christine to just put away the sweet stuff. Though considering I’ve quiting smoking and quit drugs I’m pretty sure this addiction is more about lack of want to change. I mean, why would I want to stop eating and drinking the yummy, fattening, so bad for m, packaged crap after the kids are in bed.

Oh, yeah.

Could it be the disgusting health effects, the eco-terror in the form of packaging, the cost of buying all those sugary treats? Nope, I’m vain so the answer would have to be the gut I’ve got. I mean, I’m a mom, I’m going to have a little extra lovin’ there but I’m bordering on ridiculous, and loathing it. And loathing Dearest’s mother whispering to him in the next room if I’m pregnant and blah blah blah. Don’t worry, not pregnant just fat. Is it sad that I almost wish I was just to have a better excuse for my bulging midsection?

Add to it the commercials for Hydroxycut coming on every ten minutes and we’re working on a recipe for some self-loathing. Just stir in a little “Gah, why can’t I just stop eating this crap!” to the “WTF? I can’t zip my jeans? I’m so fat!” and let bake in the summer sun where I’m too embarrassed to wear my cooler tops that show off too much belly rolls. Don’t forget a generous helping of body issues from the girl who used to look like this. And well, you get my point.

Now I’m upset and looking for the Twinkies to sooth me over. See? I’m addicted!

[tags]food, fat, body issues[/tags]

Tags: body issues, fat, food

Choice: Something Women Can’t Have

Some days I’m really sad to be an Oklahoman. It’s not enough that we have hate-filled bigots holding public office, now we have legal rape for women who dare step out the tiny confines of sexuality allowed them.

Here’s a clue: when you stick something, anything, inside a woman’s vagina without not only her consent but without giving her the choice to not consent it is rape.  It doesn’t matter if you’re a doctor, lawyer, gardener, or crazy hobo. It doesn’t matter if it’s a penis, handle, toy, or medical instrument. The point, which seems to be so missed on “pro-life” people is consent and choice. A woman’s body does not belong to her husband, father, politician, or president. She and she alone gets to decide what goes in, and out, or her body. Because, hey, it’s her’s.

The Oklahoma House has recently voted 80-12 in support of the Freedom of Conscious Act. This act was sold as letting pharmacists decide to get the pay without doing the job so they can look down on women with an air of moral superiority, however it also includes this fun little tidbit.  [via Alternet]

 Under the guise of obtaining informed patient consent, this new law requires doctors to withhold pregnancy termination until an ultrasound is performed. The law states that either an abdominal or vaginal ultrasound, whichever gives the best image of the fetus, must be done. Neither the patient nor the doctor can decide which type of ultrasound to use, and the patient cannot opt out of the ultrasound and still have the procedure. In effect, then, the legislature has mandated that a woman have an instrument placed in her vagina for no medical benefit. The law makes no exception for victims of rape and incest.

In case it’s not clear the law says that before a woman can even obtain consent to have an abortion she has to get an ultrasound, which ever gives the best image of the fetus. Which gives the best image in almost all cases? The vaginal ultrasound, a painful and sometimes humiliating process. Why? Why would you mandate a woman having something inserted with no medical reason? There’s a great discussion going on about it here.

Anti-choicers are willing to do anything — even make women suffer through invasive, sometimes painful procedures (as anyone who has had a vaginal ultrasound can attest, they are not pleasant) — to punish women. It’s not about “life,” and it’s not about saving babies. It is about controlling, punishing and doing harm to women who make unapproved sexual choices.

And there’s a discussion on the entire bill going on at Menstrual Poetry that you should read as well.

[tags]abortion, women, Oklahoma[/tags]

Tags: abortion, Oklahoma, women

Yummy

I’ve been trying to sweet talk Dearest into an ice cream maker. When it heats up here we go through a lot of cold treats like popsicles and ice cream. Making popsicles is easy enough but I’m too scared to try to make ice cream on my own. I know some people make it in large coffee cans, but I’d feel better having a big machine to do it for me.

Isn’t that sad? I can make bread without needing a bread machine, I can make popcorn without having popcorn machines. But to make ice cream I get unsure of myself and want to blow money on a machine to do it for me.

I’d like to have one of these ice cream balls that you play with while making the ice cream. I have a feeling the boys would get a kick (ha!) out of rolling a ball around