I\'m Summer, a mouthy, sarcastic bitch. I\'m passionate about natural birth, long term breastfeeding, and living naturally. I curse too much, love tattoos, and will some day be crushed to death by my book collection. I homeschool, dream of gardening, and swing to the left. 
A Mother By Choice
photo credit: jetheriotKipling
The Stupak amendment has stirred back up the abortion debate in the public sphere. Not that the debate ever really ends, just that it simmers for a while under other headline topics.
There are two areas where abortion gets people screaming mad. Fundamentalist religious people, especially those who are male and will never face this choice in their lifetimes. And mothers.
Oh we mothers can get testy over the abortion debate. Some women experience pregnancy and birth and decide a woman deserves the choice of where she wants this experience herself. Others go the other route, putting the not-quite-yet-life of a clump of cells above all else. Especially the woman who has to carry said clump of cells. After all she should have kept her legs shut/can just have an adoption/doesn’t really know what she’s doing/will be more traumatized by a quick procedure than 18 years of raising an unwanted child/fill in the blank.
I’m a mother. I’m a mother because I choose to be a mother. Not because I wasn’t legally able to prevent it. Not because the government forced me to become one. Not because someone else’s religious beliefs were shoved down my throat. Because I choose. Choice. And it’s that choice that makes my children wanted. They are not a burden or a punishment for having sex. They were my choice.
Listen to the argument enough and you start seeing a lot of talk about the “pre-born”. We have to protect the pre-born, we have to save the pre-born. I have to flush my sandwich because it’s just pre-shit. I’m going to bury you now because you’re not alive, you’re pre-dead. I should hand Evan the car keys because he’s a pre-adult.
So many get to hung up on the potential for the clump of cells that they forget that it’s just that, a potential future. And in the battle for the pre-born the ones who are already born get kicked to the way side.
I’ve seen quite a few fights breaking out between mothers on abortion. And really, I get the ones who argue for the fetus. I get that kind of maternal instinct, the fierceness, the (some would say culturally defined) role of the mother as protector as the children. But are we forgetting ourselves? We’re told time and time again not to be a martyr to motherhood, to take time for ourselves, to demand equal partnerships, to not put ourselves at the bottom of the list. Then when we expect another woman to be forced into motherhood for having sex, are we not just putting motherhood back at the bottom of the rank again? When we cast off pregnancy and childbirth as so insignificant that we offer adoption as an offer the same way we offer vanilla cake over chocolate, what does that say? When we assume a woman is too stupid to know what she is doing when she chooses abortion, then just how low is the bar for motherhood? If she’s too ignorant to know what an abortion does, why is she just smart enough to raise a(nother) child?
I am a mother. I am a mother by choice.
Both of my Blog For Choice posts have been fairly similar to this – basically stating that it is my motherhood which threw me from “not sure on abortion” to “vociferously pro-choice”. Great post, Summer.
Anji´s last blog ..The Adult Privilege Checklist
Another issue that really gets to me is when hospitals obtain court orders to force pregnant women to undergo unwanted c-sections. It’s all in the name of the unborn baby, even if the procedure poses risks to the mother’s health that she is unwilling to endure. The baby’s life comes first, above that of the mother.