I\'m Summer, a mouthy, sarcastic bitch. I\'m passionate about natural birth, long term breastfeeding, and living naturally. I curse too much, love tattoos, and will some day be crushed to death by my book collection. I homeschool, dream of gardening, and swing to the left. 
Boys’ Toys and Girls’ Toys
The latest HeathSong catalog came and I swear, I’m as bad as the kids sometimes. “Oh, I want that! And that! And that!” That was before i even let the kids look through it.
But I’m also not too happy about the catalog either. Sure the toys are super awesome, but the images can grate me a little. It all started with this pretty pink chef set. Evan wanted it, and i admit it was pretty cool looking. A real child’s sized set for making treats in the kitchen. Except that it only comes in pink. Pink, the unofficial girl color. After Evan whined because he really wanted it in yellow (his favorite color this week) and I finally promised to make him a cooking apron of his very own soon I went back through the catalog. This time looking at more than just the toys.
Opening it up there is a clear distinction. The boy is building something big and cool, the girls are all dressed as fairies and butterflies. This even Evan noticed when he asked if only girls could be butterflies. Flipping through there are some fairly non-gendered toys. Balls and the sandbox are being played with by kids of both genders, often together. The foam bug wings are worn by boys and girls, and come in more colors than just pink and purple. But building seems to be a boy’s game through out. Anything involving stacking or constructing generally has a boy playing with it.
And then there are the very gender specific toys. Cooking is a girl’s thing, so the chef set is pink with pink and purple tools. The tea set is pink and lime green with flowers. Even hopscotch is set in pastel colors with flower shapes for each number. Want hanging canopies for the bed or doorway? They come in pink and lime green, and covered in fake flowers. The doll houses? All girls playing with them, even though I know Evan wants a big doll house so bad he can taste it.
Instead the boys get to wear goggles and cut wood. While girls sew quilts and learn to knit a boy puts a stretchy, spiky thing on his head and screams.
There are a few great images. The little girl driving cars on the road mat, the girl decorating her room with airplanes, and the toddler boy at the pretend kitchen. Like I said it’s a mixture of images. While a girl goes up the rope ladder it’s the boys shooting arrows and exploring underwater while two girls stay back to paint the tepee.
I do have to say I think they did a good job not falling into the active/passive trap. Often girls and women are shown as the passive characters while boys and men are the active ones. Here the girls are jumping, dancing, screaming and running as often as the boys are.
I just wish they offered the chef set in yellow. It would have saved me the headache I got from Evan about it.
I have it lucky- I have both boy and girl toys in my home. N can often be found in the Rose Petal Cottage and M can be seen at the tool bench:)
What is happening I think is the world is changing- the toys are not. Men become chefs and better fathers, it wouldn’t be a far cry to allow them to cook or play dolls- so let’s get with the times toy makers!
Susan’s last blog post..Balance
I want to get a kitchen set and a doll house for my boys but I refuse to buy them in pink. I am hoping that my husband will get busy and make them some out of plain old brown wood.
Awesome Mom’s last blog post..Competition
Ugh. I hate the way society pigeon holes people!
It also drives me crazy how sometimes there are “normal” things and then “pink” things for girls. Like pink soccer balls. OK if there are 5 colors, but when you have normal and PINK, what message does this send!?
I have 3 boys and I hate how many boy clothes have the word “work” on them. It really feeds this sense that men are about action and not very interesting. And like Bob the Builder, men work, women decorate. Barf.
Nicole’s last blog post..Clearly it’s more than a kitchen
I wish I could send you an audio file of my friend Bryan doing his voice over spoof of girl commercials versus boy’s commercials. You’d die laughing.
Dog girl! Didn’t know you could put a link on your blog to ask for Starbucks card reloads. I am SO doing that! LOL!
Thanks for the Twitter follow – right back atcha
Carrie at NaturalMomsTalkRadio’s last blog post..Is Placenta Gross?
I say we take yellow and orange and make a campain of genderless colors!! The yellow and orange gender free colors!!! I don’t see what would be wrong with making something wood grained, or nutral…I find that very very annoying as well as we’d wanted to teach Jake to cook as well, and could never find anything his size in anything other than pink and purple. Maddening. The video was very eye opening..particuarlly the part about emphesising battered women with how make up is worn…ect.
Susan – I absolutely agree! The toy industry is not keeping up with the changing times. Though, when 98% of toys are made in less progressive countries I wonder if that’s really any shock.
Awesome Mom – I know. Even if I had girls I doubt I would buy the toys in pink, the gender stereotyping just makes me mad.
Nicole – Spot on! It’s a way of making girls as “others”, outside of normal. It’s no wonder that later issues that affect women are seen as outside the normal issues in the world.
Kim – I wish you could share that!
Sara – I wish we could make all colors gender free. *sigh*
While I understand what you’re saying, why shouldn’t ompanies market to the demographic that best demonstrates who plays with their toys? Honestly, I’m all about gender equality, but I might be a little taken aback at opening a magazine to see a little boy flitting around in a pair of butterfy wings and a little girl playing with goo and slime and bugs (even though I know that each likes the other). With two girls and one boy living in my house, I have just about every type of toy imaginable. If you ask my son what his favorite color is, he’ll say “purple and pink.” However, he naturally gravitates toward “boy toys.” It’s not because we force them on him. But take him to a store, and he’s going to seek out cars and action heroes NOT dolls and kitchen sets. (Oh, for your commenter looking for a gender neutral kitchen set, I’ve seen them at Target.) Also, despite my girls occasionally playing with my son’s castle set, they’d much rather do hair and makeup and play with Barbies (even though I, myself, spend very little time primping). Again, it’s not because I force this on them. It’s what they truly like. And I’ve seen Wending wielding a hammer just as many times as Bob.
Lis Garrett’s last blog post..You Really Can’t Have Your Cake and Eat It Too
Lis, I guess I have to disagree with you. For one if I just don’t see how anyone could be taken aback by seeing a boy in butterfly wings or a girl playing with green slime. Nothing about those images seems odd or weird to me.
There’s nothing wrong with a toy company marketing to their best demographic, but I disagree that your children are the exact representation of what all children choose to play with. I was a girl who hates pink, wanted nothing to do with dolls or makeup or fluff. And yet those things are all I ever got because those were the only things marketed to me so the adults assumed it was all I wanted to play with. Same with my sons who actually enjoy dolls, cooking, and
I can’t help but see how much advertising affects what kids play with. When the only thing a girl ever sees in magazines and TV are girls wearing pink, playing with dolls, and wearing make up how much is they assuming, even just subconsciously, that these are the things girls are supposed to do? Even if you’re not forcing them, what about the rest of the world?
Back to marketing to the best demographic gender marketing often makes it’s own demographics. They cater to the old fashioned ideas that boys can only do this and girls can only do that. Then they sell that image and keep it alive. If my four year old noticed from the images that “only girls can be butterflies” then what makes you think the adults aren’t making that same statement before creating the image. And if they send that message and the kids pick up on it, how much is it that the kids are just drawn that way and how much is they think this is the way they are supposed to be. The parents sure seem to grasp that message.
I have found in these changing times that the marketing companies are only in it for the money, however, that is their job! I can’t really fault them for it, and I have found that I don’t buy from companies that I find overly biased one way or the other.
So, that being said, I raised my girls and one boy with that in mind. I’ve always given them the option to play/buy whatever they want.
I believe it is our job as parents to search out those neutral products (wooden is a GREAT way to go with this, and very durable and can be painted, etc), and also to raise our children with as little gender issues as possible.
Let kids be kids, ignore the products for what the show, and see how it would help your child! I don’t know a single girl or boy that would turn away an RC car, and I don’t know a single girl or boy who would turn down a play kitchen full of toy food, even if the kitchen is pink or polka dotted!
Suzanne B. (Crunchy Green Mom0’s last blog post..Suave Review
Summer, I never said or even implied that my children are THE respresentation of their demographic. Also, I didn’t say I think it’s wrong that boys wear butterflies or girls play with slime. Trust me, my son has spent a fair amount of time playing with Polly Pockets just as my daughters have spent digging for worms and catching toads.
But in the scheme of a magazine or marketing, I think it would be obvious that the company is going out of its way to prove just how gender neutral it can be if it were to showcase boys playing with traditionally girl items and girls playing with traditionally boy items. It would just seem odd to me, that’s all (but not wrong).
As much as my son loves playing dress up with Hannah or ponies with Bridget, he would have a FIT if I gave him a doll as a gift just to prove the point that boys can play with girl toys. And likewise, my girls would not appreciate receiving a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, not because society says they can’t play with these traditionally boy toys, but because they do not naturally gravitate toward them.
Yes, I do realize there are girls who like to get muddy and boys who care more about fashion. I’m not dense.
This reminds me of a close friend of the family who, when she had a little girl, vowed NEVER to dress her in purple, pink, or anything “girly.” No one was allowed to buy clothes for this little girl unless the mother pre-approved the purchase. And now that the little girl is four years old, guess what she loves – dresses, ruffles, and purple. (and we all snigger behind the mom’s back) Mom and Dad went out of their way to be gender neutral (they also have an older and younger son), and it didn’t really matter anyway.
And it’s funny that, even though we keep ALL the kids’ toys in a central location and they have equal opportunity to play with whatever they want, they almost ALWAYS gravitate toward what is considered traditionally boy and traditionally girl.
I have to agree with Suzanne in that these marketing companies have a job to do, and they do it well. If you don’t like it, then don’t buy from that company. Or, why not buy the pink kitchen set for your son?
Lis Garrett’s last blog post..You Really Can’t Have Your Cake and Eat It Too
Lis I do think you were implying that your children were the target demographic because they fit into the stereotypical gendered image. And you did say that those images were wrong by saying that you would be taken aback by them. People are not generally taken aback by images they have no problems with.
To me if companies began marketing to people/kids rather than the perceived gender norms that would not be odd, it would be step in the right direction. It is something they should be doing rather than sticking to “this is for girls and this is for boys” and perpetuating that image. There are no such things as “girl toys” and “boy toys”, just toys. The distinction is one that is put on the toys by the social norm, an outdated one at that.
Your friend’s story is a perfect one. She was given a gender neutral image and chose on her own to be girly. That is completely different than constantly being marketed to that the only correct way for girls to be ever is girly and if they are not then they’re not real girls and the girl choosing to be girly.
Why not buy the pink one? Because my son doesn’t want a pink one, his favorite color is yellow. Guess what, I’ll bet there are plenty of girls out there too upset that they can only find this in pink. So why not offer the toy in a variety of colors? Even choosing colors other than pink won’t affect their target demographic because there are girls who do not like pink. So why not do it? Because they are more than just selling toys, they are selling an image that this is the way girls look, dress, behave, and play.
Just stop buying from them? So where would I shop? I’d be reduced to buying wood and making my own everything because 99% of toys and children’s clothing manufacturers market to the “girls pink boys guns” stereotype. I don’t want to just shrug my shoulders and give up, I want to voice my opinion loud enough and long enough that maybe someone will figure out that forcing kids into a stereotype from the mine they are born is actually a bad thing.
Okay, how can I say this so you will understand me? I DO NOT THINK IT IS WRONG FOR BOYS TO WEAR BUTTERFLY WINGS OR FOR GIRLS TO PLAY WITH SLIME!!!!!!!!!
If I had a TRUE problem with it, I wouldn’t have allowed for my son to wear Hello Kitty snow boots in public or my daughters to play with dump trucks. I would not have allowed my son to dress up in a fairy costume and put on make-up or paint his nails. I would never have allowed my daughters to roll around in the mud or play with toy swords.
In the context of marketing, however, I can understand why companies choose to specifically target boys and girls for the very SAME reason why Vogue targets women and Maxim targets men, or why there are more commercials targeting women on during the day and men-centric commercials on during football games. You totally misunderstood what I was trying to say in that, after YEARS of seeing images (as wrong as it may be) of girls playing with kitchens and boys bashing cars together, it would look strange (to me) to all of a sudden see the roles reversed. It would appear strange to all of a sudden see a magazine where all the boys wear pink and play with kitchen sets and all the girls are driving racecars. I would wonder what point the company is trying to make. I’m talking strictly about marketing and NOT what goes on in real life.
And I’ll even go so far as to say that perhaps my kids ARE a true representation of their demographic, and that’s not something I’m ashamed to admit. I do not feel like I’ve failed them as a parent just because my girls prefer girl toys and my son prefers boy toys. They know what they like, and it’s not because someone has told them they’re supposed to like it.
Honestly? For as long as I’ve been a parent, this argument makes me roll my eyes. It’s MY duty, despite the media, to instill in my children the belief that they can do anything and be anything they want. That, I think, is something we can both agree about as mothers.
And yes, you do have a choice about whether or not to buy from HearthSong. Lucky for us parents, they are not the only toy carriers on the Internet. Have you taken your complaint and observations to them?
You always have a choice about what your child reads, watches, and plays with, but I bet there’s a lot more “nature” than “nurture” going on than you know. Take away all the “boy” toys and leave your sons with nothing but dolls to play with, and see if they have just as much fun with those as they do their other more boy-centric toys. If they’re anything like my son, they’d rather cut the dolls hair off and toss it down the stairs than actually play house. Or maybe not.
Lis Garrett’s last blog post..You Really Can’t Have Your Cake and Eat It Too
Hmmm. I understand your points. It is frustrating that girls seem to be pigeonholed by MOST companies into just pink and purple. But I will say that there seems to be a slow shift into more gender neutral toys. The best we can do as consumers is to buy the items that suit our needs and beliefs best.
MY Evan loves to cook, too. But the thought of ANY of my kids even knowing what to do with an apron makes me laugh the most. They watch their mom wipe her flour-covered hands on her pants and assume that THIS is the norm!
Lis, I’m sorry but you were the one who originally said you would be taken aback by images of boys dressed as butterflies and girls playing with slime in a magazine.
I never said I wanted to see only boys playing with dolls or only girls playing with trucks. That’s just as absurd in the opposite direction. I don’t want to see only anyone playing with only anything.
My sons do have dolls. Guess what they do. Wear them in child sized slings, breastfeed them, and drive them around in their dump trucks. Kids mimic what they see, and that includes what they see in the rest of the world as well. Children are not immune from marketing.
You’re too busy feeling offended to see the point. Children are not wrapped in bubbles where no influence outside my own will get to them. I can expect marketing to be socially responsible. I wouldn’t say “Oh, well it’s my job to teach my kids not to steal” while the commercials showed happy kids shoplifting. I don’t think there is anything wrong with girls doing “girl” stuff and boys doing “boy” stuff. I do think it is wrong to pressure them to only do those things, and on many levels to even label them as those things at all. How are dolls “girl” toys rather than just toys. Do men not parent? How are trucks “boy” toys rather than just toys? Do women not drive?
I’m not going to just say “Oh well, that’s just how it is” and move on. That’s not how this woman behaves.
Tracey, LOL I’m such a mess if I didn’t wear an apron when I cooked I’d be changing clothes several times a day. I’m almost worse than the kids! LOL
I bet if you sent the company this article they would sell it in yellow next year. Consumer action baby.
In the meantime – lots of other companies sell kitchens. I think Zack’s kitchen is mostly white with blue accents. I just let him use the plaid aprons and hats.
Liz’s Question: Why shouldn’t companies market to the demographic that best demonstrates who plays with their toys?
Because we’re the parents and the consumer and we’re sick of it and blog posts like this should put toy makers and advertisers on notice that we expect less – not more – gender stereotyping in our children’s toys and the advertising. If enough people complain then they WILL change their marketing.
It’s “Lis,” not “Liz.” I sent the company the link to MY article which has the link to Summer’s article. I’m just as curious as anyone else to see what they say.
Lis Garrett’s last blog post..Nature vs Nurture
really good post. At first I didn’t think I was going to be able to watch the whole video but it really got me.
I personally am not as worried about my daughter now with the media, it is when I no longer can shield her from the mass media. Toy companies do I think have to market to the masses and honestly the majority of parents want to see boys doing boy things and girls doing girl things. Whether or not our children actually gravitate towards one or the other has really no bearing on what the toy companies will advertise until WE are the majority. This issue runs much deeper than toy makers. Yes we need to start young and somewhere I agree. However as Lis said in one of her comments children naturally gravitate towards gender specific items eventually. I do agree with offering family objects in multiple colors as Summer said.
But like I said I am more worried about my daughter when she turns 12 and is bombarded with outside influences about sex, body image, and material possessions. I find it is my job to teach her to be a strong confident woman. Never to hear her mother put herself down for being anything less than a beautiful woman.
(except I am way pregnant right now so, I am ranting on my sight about being sooooooo round, but around Kya I say man mommy sure is pregnant!)
mojavi at simple things’s last blog post..had to ba at least one rant right?
OMG, there are a lot of molded people!!! We all are people and we should not set limitations on children. If boys were taught to be nurturing (Dolls,etc.) they would be better husbands. How many of you work all day, come home and do most of the house work and take care of the kids!!!! If girls were not put in pink or play with dolls, there would be more women engineers, construction workers, doctors and so on. “Molded” children tend to think a certain way, we limit their futures. Males grow up not accepting females as construction workers, football players and so on.