I\'m Summer, a mouthy, sarcastic bitch. I\'m passionate about natural birth, long term breastfeeding, and living naturally. I curse too much, love tattoos, and will some day be crushed to death by my book collection. I homeschool, dream of gardening, and swing to the left. 
Breastfeeding Support is Hard to Find
photo credit: Raphael Goetter
There was a pretty lively discussion last night on Twitter about breastfeeding support. It started when lil gruntlings shared her annoyance at someone in a parenting group trying to sell new moms some pretty horrible advice.
Someone on a group I’m in is pushing her book of advice on how to get a 6 week old to sleep 12 hours & saying it’s ok for BF
You can imagine that a few of us got wide eyed at that nugget of nasty.
For one, no breastfeeding mother of only 6 weeks could go 12 whole hours without nursing. Even is she is pumping, a pump just doesn’t match a baby’s ability to empty the breasts. The poor mom would be swollen up to the size of a porn star and in massive amounts of pain. Clogged ducts, mastitis, and a whole host of medical issues would be in store for her. Just the thought of going 12 hours without nursing makes my breasts ache.
Then there’s the poor baby. Not only should a 6 week old baby never go that long without food (can you say failure to thrive?) but also how the hell do you train a baby that little to sleep for that long in one stretch? And why would you want to? Apparently the book pusher was claiming you could “gently” let a 6 week old baby cry it out to force them to sleep that long. As Suburban Oblivion said
There is no ‘gentle’ cry it out IMO.
Exactly. Especially for a poor baby that young. I mean, gently cry it out? That’s an oxymoron. If it was gentle the baby wouldn’t be crying, and then it wouldn’t be CRY it out.
The conversation delved into all the horrible advice so called “experts” have given moms. OMG there are so many myths out there that destroy good breastfeeding relationships, and people keep spreading them. Especially people who should know better, like doctors and nurses and lactation counselors. Like “your baby is starving, give him formula” for doing exactly what a breastfed baby is supposed to do: eat often. Or if they lose a few ounces in the first week, which is perfectly normal and happens to most babies, some nurse comes in shoving a bottle in your baby’s mouth.
PhD in Parenting has a great post that every so called “expert” should read before they start telling a mom that she can’t breastfeed. What does support look like? What to do and not do to support a breastfeeding mother.The sad thing is for too many moms there just isn’t good advice coming at them. “Make the baby sleep all night.” “You can’t breastfeed a baby that big.” (I heard that about my 9 pounder, guess what – no problem doing it though) “The baby is too hungry.” “Your breasts are too big/small to breastfeed.”
I’d love to be able to send a copy of The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, The Ultimate Breastfeeding Book of Answers, or The Breastfeeding Book to every breastfeeding mom, along with a pair of earplugs to block out the crap advice she’s probably hearing.
It’s difficult to imagine that after forty-some years of activism that I’m aware of, breastfeeding moms still have to deal with resistance from the very medical professionals who should be giving them the best possible advice. I suspect it’s a money issue. Breastfeeding makes no one rich, in terms of dollars, that is.
P.S. The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding was a stellar resource when my babies were nursing, more than thirty years ago, and is continually updated. Glad to see it mentioned it here.
Well said, and I totally agree, I don’t know who would let their newborn go 12 hours without food, my boobs hurt if I go longer than 2 hours.
Yeah… all copies of that book should be burned. I agree, there is no gently cry it out. I don’t get the whole independence/cry it out trail of thought – aren’t you just teaching your baby you won’t be there when they need you??
Storm\´s last blog post..Shrek DVD Sale At WalMart
I never cease to be amazed at the horrible advice that people give to breastfeeding mothers. In addition to the awful breastfeeding advice, the fact that medical professionals routinely recommend cry it out (even when mom is not complaining about the sleep situation) is ridiculous and dangerous.
Annie @ PhD in Parenting\´s last blog post..The Tortoise and the Hare
So true. So, so true.
Wonder if you’ve seen my breastfeeding bingo card?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/msruthmoss/2510834585/in/set-72157604614948316/
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I’m saddened to see how much inaccurate advice is still being given. I am a mom to 5, one of the best pieces of advice I can lend to a new mom is to follow your own instincts, pediatricians know babies in general, but only you know YOUR child best, friends and family have advice to offer from their own experiences, but doesn’t always suit your life and child, (some may be very outdated…things changed in 8 years from my first baby to my 5th) even “parenting” books often contradict one another…Where can a new parent turn to for advice? Do your research, find out what works best for you and your child~ just because Dr. So-and-so says it’s best for children, doesn’t mean it’ll work for your child, just because Aunt Franny says she let Junior cry himself to sleep at 6 weeks old, (she probably drank and smoked the whole pregnancy which was accepted back then) Babies don’t come into this world with handbooks, it’s a trial and error of finding what works best for you and that child…Each baby is different, I’ve had very mellow and very “high need” babies, it doesn’t happen overnight, but over the course of time, you learn what’s the best route for each child, they’ll show you the way…
I don’t know if you can train a newborn to sleep 12 hours… but I do know that all 4 of mine did it “naturally… as in all on their own” by that time. Lucky, lucky me. My mom claims all 4 of her children slept through the night from the start as well. I guess it’s in the genes…
and as for the boobs? No problems… they adjusted very quickly… and I was able to successfully breast-feed all 4 kids for 9 months. They also were born with a natural feeding clock of every 4 hours, 5 minutes per side. I must have been producing pure cream, eh?
Joey\´s last blog post..Yeah, I amaze even myself…
The “myth” about you’re staving the baby and it needs formula definitely didn’t apply in our house. My wife is breastfeeding my daughter Jaiden. In the first four months of her life, her weight tripled … eating nothing but breast milk.
lol, and 12 hours of sleep in a row …
Maybe in another 6 or 7 months.
Todd
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