I\'m Summer, a mouthy, sarcastic bitch. I\'m passionate about natural birth, long term breastfeeding, and living naturally. I curse too much, love tattoos, and will some day be crushed to death by my book collection. I homeschool, dream of gardening, and swing to the left. 
Co-Sleeping And Still Gettin’ Busy
photo credit: Katherine Squier
There’s a new book out about sex after parenthood, Hump: True Tales of Sex After Kids by Kimberly Ford. Honestly, I would have never even known about it (or even cared much) if I hadn’t came across an interview with the author online from RedBook.
You mention in the book that you still co-sleep with your kids, so when do you and your husband manage to have sex?
We have one big rule in our house: When Daddy and I say we are having “private time,” the kids can talk on the phone or go on the computer, but they cannot bother us. My 8-year-old daughter recently asked, “Mom, what do you do during ‘private time’?” I told her, “We talk, I get a back rub….” She was like, “Oh, okay.” If they turn 16 and suddenly say, “Oh, my God, that’s when my parents were doing it!” that’s fine by me. I think it’s important for kids to know that parents continue to have a sex life!
Yes, thank you!
Mention you’re a co-sleeping family and right after all the “OMG you’re gonna kill your baby!” comments complete strangers start delving into your sex life, or their assumption that you lack one. It completely skips their mind that if co-sleeping meant sex no longer happened then we would all be one kid families.
I haven’t read the book, but I hope it points out that sex after kids doesn’t have to mean only in the bed, lights off, absolutely silent. Because that is some damn boring sex. Sure we’re not able to jump up and have a mid-afternoon roll in the hay right now, but that doesn’t mean sex is dull and boring. What we lack in frequency we make for in fun. Like last week in the bathroom while the kids were napping we ….
I’ll just leave that for you to figure out. The point is that co-sleeping does not mean your sex life has to end. We’ve got a whole house with a lot of rooms and a lot of furiture. Just because there’s a baby sleeping in the middle of our bed doesn’t mean we aren’t getting busy before the kids wake up in the morning. Or after they go to bed. Or sometimes in the middle of the day. So when I say we co-sleep and someone starts going on about it “ruining the martital relationship” and such I’ve got one thing running through my mind. Just how boring is your sex life?
I think it’s kind of sad that people assume co-sleepers never have sex. Because really, that means those people who assume that probably don’t have really fun sex, just, “Oh, we’re going to bed now, and we haven’t humped in two weeks, so I suppose we should” kind of sex…
Gwynne\´s last blog post..thisMoment and BlogHer ‘09 and Jen Hinton all rock
Amen, amen and amen sistah!
By the way, your new profile picture? MADE OF AWESOME! You’re super cute! Can’t wait to meet you @ Blogher!
Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parenting\´s last blog post..Kids Strange Sleeping Positions, Take Two
“Just how boring is your sex life!?” SO TRUE! My husband and I actually don’t sleep in the same bed because of some major snoring issues, but I co-sleep with a kid or two and my parents jokingly wonder how I get pregnant. Hm. It’s called sex outside of the bed people!
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Yep. Yep. Yep.
My favorite response to the, “But you can’t have any sex,” comment has always been, “There are other rooms.” That can mean for us or for the baby.
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On the one hand, AMEN! There is a house full of options if you’re willing to be a little creative.
On the other hand, I sort of feel like I’m a teenager again. Only instead of trying to sneak around on our parents, now it’s our kids. It’s the circle of life, and it moves us all.
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Happy Saturday Sharefest!
Stopping by from SITS. Love the title of this post! Grabbed my attention right away!
I hope you have a wonderful weekend.
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Out of interest, is the sex in the book all hetero?
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And…come on…I bet dh and I aren’t the only one to manage some kind of intimacy when the young infant was sleeping in the same bed! People who think co-sleeping prohibits sex are so narrow-minded, unimaginative and inhibited.
And nighttime isn’t the only time to have sex! How bout in the morning when the kids are all outta bed doing their own thing? Or in the afternoon, when the kids are watching Elmo?
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Love it! and it’s so true….”how fun is your sex life?!”
I personally think the challenge of finding space and time (which is inherent in every family experience) is just that more exciting!
Amber I hear you on the sneaking around thing.
I also agree with the authors comment about if the kids figure it out when their 16…uh, yes, we have sex and that’s normal and healthy!
hillary\´s last blog post..Day 5 :: The Good Life
We’ve co-slept off and on over the years. Sometimes all of us in the same bed, sometimes just me and the kids. The thing about co-sleeping and having a sex life is you just have to get a little more creative. A bed isn’t the only place for sex.
Now that our kids are a little older and are sleeping in a separate room together, I have to admit it’s nice to have my bed back to me and my hubby. However, I’d do the whole co-sleeping thing over again in a heartbeat.
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Never got that question. Although maybe with five kids in tow, they realize it is sort of a silly question.
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But what if I WANT my sex life to end? Now that I’m co-sleeping with baby #3, no need for headaches or visits from Aunt Flo, etc. And no need for baby #4!:P
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I think it is great that you guys get so busy at different times of the day! Even though my daughter no longer sleeps with my husband and I (she stopped at 2 years old), you have definitely given me some ideas to have more fun
Thanks!