I\'m Summer, a mouthy, sarcastic bitch. I\'m passionate about natural birth, long term breastfeeding, and living naturally. I curse too much, love tattoos, and will some day be crushed to death by my book collection. I homeschool, dream of gardening, and swing to the left. 
Is Cosleeping Safe? Do Bears Crap In The Woods?
I’m a happy cosleeping mom. It works for me in a lot of ways. We all sleep better, feel happier, and reduce one common parenting war so many families have.
Trey, at only 1 week old.
With Evan we slept snuggled together for the first 4 months. By then he was sleeping through the night and I was caving into pressure to get him into his own bed. Trey slept along side me until he was 18 months, but even now he comes creeping into my bed early in the morning for a snugle. And despite all the negative talk it’s given, I’m pretty happy sleeping with my babe.
I sleep better. Really, I do. First I could never image those poor moms who had to get up in the middle of the night, wonder in the dark, and try to wake up to feed or comfort their child. I’d be a zombie if I had to do that. Lift the shirt, insert boob, fall back alseep before I even knew I was awake. That’s what kept me sane. Not to mention having them so close meant the jumping at their every sound that all moms do was greatly reduced.
But, in an effort to make their buddies that sell cribs and all the assorted crap that goes with them rich and happy, we’re too often told that it’s “dangerous”. Ohhh, it’s dangerous. Of course most of us cosleeping mom roll our eyes at this. Of course it’s dangerous, if you’re an idiot. Tossing your baby in the backseat of the car and taking off is dangerous, that doesn’t mean securely strapping them into the carseat is also. So we shout into the wind that it’s quite simple to safely cosleep: don’t be drunk, high on drugs, cover the bed in thousands of pillows and thick blankets, or be too exhausted to think straight. In other words, be a sane and rational human being and you’re OK.
Well guess what, we’re not crazy parents one moment away from killing our babies.
Contrary to popular notion that sharing a bed with parents could be risky for a baby, the recent research showed that sharing a bed with an infant doesn’t elevate the risk of cot death. Parents across Britain are usually advised that it is safer for all children under the age of six months to be put in a cot in their parents’ room.
The British study revealed that if parents avoid some risk factors its absolutely safe for the baby to share the cot with parents. The risk factors are parents drinking alcohol, smoking or taking drugs, use of heavy bedding, adult pillows and soft mattresses, and when parents were “excessively tired” – defined as having had less than four hours sleep the night before.
Can I say no shit? Really? Next you’ll be telling me the sky is blue.
Any who reads Dr. Sears probably knows all about the safety and benefits of cosleeping. And anyone who uses instinctual parenting knows how right it feels not to kick your child to the curb once the cord is cut. Toss him in his own crib, in his own room, in the stroller, anywhere as long as he’s away from you. Feed a multi-million dollar industry while keeping a supposed safe distance from your child.
Now I wonder if this study will mean anything or if the power of money will keep the “cosleeping is dangerous, buy a crib!” industry going. I don’t know, I think I’m still too jaded by the “homebirth is dangerous, ignore the research, spend thousands on a hospital birth” industry still thriving today.
*Note: I’ve never rolled over onto the baby, despite everyone’s idea that this somehow happens. I’ve also never rolled off the bed. The same thing that reminds me in my sleep that there’s an edge there also reminds me that there’s a baby there.
It also cracks me up when people say that co-sleeping kills your sex life. Not sleeping and getting up and down all night will kill your libido in a heart beat.
My second child was conceived in our backyard.
We don’t need no stinking bed!
Christine´s last blog post..Happy Thanksgiving – Happy Dying
All 4 of my kids slept in our bed at some point or another. the last one the longest at 3 years.
Guess what? Eventually they sleep fine in their own beds too!
(although I am secretly amused when the teens come snuggle me for a bit some nights when I’m in bed. They just want to talk. That’s GOOD right?)
As for rolling over, if there was a baby in the bed neither hubby or I even moved much, let alone roll.
Andrea´s last blog post..My blog forgot me
Yer darn tootin’!
I love cosleeping, I love nursing at night, I love waking up to my little ones smiling up at me, I love snuggling!
Jill´s last blog post..Recent Jacobness
Right on! We had a (safe) natural homebirth, co-slept for 13 months until he and I were not getting enough sleep that way. My husband was also very aware of our baby even without the same hormones in his blood stream. and I wear my baby too-easy for nursing and cuddles! We also got a high end stroller as a gift and we use it sometimes b/c it’s a facing-me, up high type some outings. Great post! We really don’t need much of the ’stuff’ that the big consumerism monster says we need. I’m with you!
Deborah´s last blog post..BYOB
There needs to be a co-sleeping revolution. We won’t shut up until they quit trying to scare us to death about being near our babies.
Christine – TMI woman! LOL
Everybody says I am lying when I say I sleep better with Elijah in bed with me. I definately agree i do sleep better too though. Hubby doesnt though because he is afraid hes going to roll. He never moves at all in his sleep though and we have a king sized bed! so the baby and i sleep in a twin bed in the babys room alot so that Dave can sleep better. But he ends up missing us anyway and coming in and getting us to come get in bed with him. I wake up to him snuggling with the baby most mornings! hehe.
Erin´s last blog post..Give Thanks
When a single male parent with a baby daughter (33 years ago), I would co-sleep with her. She was happy & it was good for me, too.
After being asked if I was a pervert a few times (or something similar), I was careful who I shared this with.
However I can now reveal that I slept with 6 of my 7 children until either another baby came along or they were happy in their own beds. One of my girls regularly crept in beside me until she was a teenager. My littlest girl is 3 and mostly goes to sleep in her own bed, but every now & then prefers to sleep with Daddy. What could be wrong with that??
We co-sleep and still do. When the kids are sick it helps out. I can hear there breathing- take two seconds to feel their temp.
Although there are cases of roll-overs this is more so attributed to alcohol or other substances that impaired judgment.
Susan Lindgren´s last blog post..Happy Birthday
Thanks soooo much for posting this, Summer! My husband and I love practicing AP’ing with Dylan Orion!!! We~co~sleep with him, bathe with him, wear him, laugh, giggle, tickle and snort with him! I’ve been BFing him since day 1 and I love it! It’s the most magical communication I’ve ever experienced with another being before. In fact, I call Dylan MY LUSCIOUSLY VORACIOUS MILKY MONSTER because he loves to passionately nurse! I’ve had other MAMAS criticize me for nursing him past 6 months or telling me it’s detrimental for him to be sleeping with us or it will backfire not having him on a set schedule. But, ya know what, I just say “thank you!” and let it go, because I know what Dylan, Bud and I are doing is magical and “PURR”FECT for us as a family! I really feel Dylan arrived into our lives because he knew how much love he was going to receive. : ))) And, life is dazzling when you’re in love!!! : )))
LOL,
Leah (MAMA to 14 month old Dylan Orion…..29 September 2007). : )))
I’m currently co-sleeping with number 3. She’s almost 18 months and we still dig cuddling and nursing overnight together. I co-slept with the older two and they’re in their own beds now. Nice post, thank you.
Gettysburg Mom´s last blog post..The Couch
We bought a crib, and I spent a whole day putting the silly thing together. My daughter, who’s now a little more than 3 months old has Never slept in it for more than 15 minutes at time. She much prefers being in the bed with mommmy … and who could blame her.
I like having the baby in our bed. And I agree with you, I don’t see a safety issue. That being said, once Jaiden stops breast feeding, I think it will also be time for her to learn to sleep on her own.
Todd
Todd Morris´s last blog post..The Thanksgiving Thank You Box
I don’t know anything about cosleeping regarding babies/kids; but my general common sense tells me that since most couples manage to sleep in the same bed – sometimes two people in a single bed if that’s all they have – and they manage not to harm or push the other out; why would it be different in this case.
But then I guess it may not work for some – those who prefer their space or get overheated easily etc – i can see why they might choose not to cosleep for too long – but I don’t see why they should have a negative opinion about others.
i’m glad you’re all so comfortable with your choices.
Stars Above,
~Rose
Rose´s last blog post..Happy Blissmas