I\'m Summer, a mouthy, sarcastic bitch. I\'m passionate about natural birth, long term breastfeeding, and living naturally. I curse too much, love tattoos, and will some day be crushed to death by my book collection. I homeschool, dream of gardening, and swing to the left. 
Isolated Motherhood
I was trying to clear out my email box while the boys ate lunch, running through a long backlog of Google alerts that I have set up, deleting the growing pile of spam, when I came across this article out of Australia:
A Brisbane woman who faced court this week charged with murdering and torturing her twin toddlers told other mothers on a parenting website a year ago that she was “drowning” since their birth and yearned for “me time”.
Reading the rest of the article is heartbreaking. The mother of 6 complained that she felt fat and ugly since having the twins, that she couldn’t cope, that she needed help. The article says the father said that even though he lived in the same house he had not seen or cared for the twins, and most likely the other kids as well, in over six months.
She needed help, desperately. And she wasn’t suffering in silence, she went online and told others mothers that she needed help. And no one stepped up to help her.
It makes me more than a little angry. Though I am certainly not making excuses for the mother, I can’t help but wonder what might have happened had someone came over once and while just to watch the kids while she took a walk, or took a nap, or just went into the bathroom and screamed until she felt better. That she spoke out to others, despite some who might pass it off as “just an online forum” says so much.
When I was suffering with PPD I never said a word. I cut ties with anyone who knew I was struggling and painted a pretty picture of a happy mom. I was ashamed and frightened to tell anyone that I was laying in bed in my pajamas from three days ago sobbing over everything.
We are a lot more connected in this modern time. With blogs, forums, and social networking. But it sometimes seems that we are also a lot more isolated, which can be hell for a mother suffering from depression. Sometimes we need to turn off the computer and drive over to their house, or pick up the phone and call them. Anything to let another mom know that she isn’t alone and that can do this.
[tags]parenting, depression, postpartum depression, news, murder, death[/tags]
Thank you for this post. I’ve been there, too. And it is hard to say “I really need help” when the whole world expects you to be happy, just to be a mom.
What a sad, sad tale. The worst part is her so-called partner who should’ve known that *something* was seriously wrong. But how could he when doesn’t have anything to do with his own children? It’s just completely angering.
You are so right. I hope she gets help. Her man needs it, too. I wish people would stop treating moms like criminals when they crack- aren’t we all just stumbling through? So her msg board complaints- were there local moms there that could have helped? I know it’s so much easier to vent & let it out during a quiet writing moment. poor thing. Thanks for bringing this up. I’ll keep my eyes open
Alicia – It is hard! We’re expected to be happy and adoring our kids constantly, so when we break down it’s see as a complete failure.
Arp – I know! I want to find this guy and just shake him!