It’s A War Out There
Hey, did you know there’s a war going on? Right here in our own country. There are homegrown terrorists running through the streets shooting missiles at us in the form of Happy Holidays.
Oh yes folks, it’s War On Christmas 2009!
photo credit: Randy Son Of Robert
Remember, every time you say Happy Holidays a liberal atheist kicks baby Jesus and eats a puppy. No, it’s true! Just look at this horrifying news story!
It was Caroline Cheshire’s Christmas wish for her parish, a live nativity scene that would bring the Christmas story to life after services on Christmas Eve.
But she had no idea she was trampling on the separation between church and state with her idea.
See! They just wanted a nativity scene at their church and the government stepped in and stopped them! They’re oppressing Christians! Why do they hate baby Jesus?
“We didn’t mean to offend anyone. Families who come out of the church are the ones that choose to celebrate Christmas Eve in church,” Cheshire tells WBZ-TV
See! SEE!!! It’s the War On Christmas!
If we forget the part about the nativity scene being held on public property, the city officials know that if they allow one display they have to allow others, and they did not feel the area was able to accommodate multiple displays. But since we all know that Christmas is the only holiday in winter and Christians are the only real Americans, we can figure out that this is really just another evil plot by the liberals to destroy Christmas.
Like this story
Opponents of Cecil Bothwell are seizing on that law to argue he should not be seated as a City Council member today, even though federal courts have ruled religious tests for public office are unlawful under the U.S. Constitution.
“I’m not saying that Cecil Bothwell is not a good man, but if he’s an atheist, he’s not eligible to serve in public office, according to the state constitution,” said H.K. Edgerton, a former Asheville NAACP president.
Article 6, section 8 of the state constitution says: “The following persons shall be disqualified for office: First, any person who shall deny the being of Almighty God.”
Oh wait, this is a good one. After all, all real Americans are Christians so keeping dirty Muslims er evolutionists er atheists out of any type of office is a good thing. Am I right?
Of course you know something like this (an atheist getting elected) would only happen in Asheville. Remember that the next time you are looking for outer banks vacation rentals.
Of course we can blame the Gap for starting the fire again this year. How dare they, DARE THEY, have a commercial that lists four different holidays and encourages people to enjoy celebrating in their own way. After all, only Christmas is actually worthy of being celebrated and holds any kind of importance or meaning to people. And what better way to promote that then with a commercial for chemical filled dead trees that will be filled with piss and crap and then tossed into landfills to pollute the earth for years. Thank you Pampers, for keeping the Christ in Christmas.
What? You know baby Jesus would have worn Pampers, if they had been invented back then.
Woah! This was pretty shocking. Can we all just have the Christmas spirit? Please…:)
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I love your blog.
Screw the crazy fundies that think the world ought to revolve around them.
Happy Holidays
Oh, for Christ’s sake.
Yep, the atheists are against everything. Tell me, will these fanatics (a small, small minority or Christians) be taking down their Christmas trees? The is, as you know, borrowed from pagan traditions.
It’s all or nothing, baby! Nice post.
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[...] BoxEvery year around this time two sides break out into war, and this time I’m not talking the “war on Christmas” folks. No, I mean the war between getting a fake tree or a real [...]