I\'m Summer, a mouthy, sarcastic bitch. I\'m passionate about natural birth, long term breastfeeding, and living naturally. I curse too much, love tattoos, and will some day be crushed to death by my book collection. I homeschool, dream of gardening, and swing to the left. 
Mine! No mine!
It’s a backwards Works For Me Wednesday, which means instead of dispencing tips we get to beg for hlp. OK, so I’m probably the only one begging. Still, I’m ready to bask in the knowledge of those who have been here before.
Sharing. How the hell do I make my kids do it? Specifically how do I get them to play together for more than 5 minutes without WWIII breaking out because one of them breathed too near the other’s toy? I’ve tried getting two of the same toy, separating the toys, explaining to keep toys that little brother can’t play with put up, setting them up in different rooms, and just ignoring it. No matter what they’re both screaming, slapping, kicking, and biting within a few minutes.
I’m ready to toss out all the toys give them each a stick. Though they’ll still be knocking each other around I’m sure.
[tags]children, sharing, siblings, parenting[/tags]
Or they’ll be shooting each other with them. Or they’ll use them as swords. Or light sabers. Or lances…
Got two of those boys myself. I’m finally to the point where I tell them, “If you break each other, you’ll pay,” and let them at it.
May I recommend chocolate?
I think Jeana’s stance on sharing makes a lot of sense… Let me see if I can find a link before I fall asleep…
http://laughter4daystocome.blogspot.com/2007/09/sharing-about-sharing.html
And please visit me today and help if you can!!
Thanks,
Amy (not affiliated with Jeana, just a fan!)
My favorite is to make them sit nose to nose for 2 minutes. It is so funny they usually end up laughing and they love each other again or else they are mad because one says the other has stinky breath! Hope you get some good advice.
Hi, Summer! I hope this isn’t too discouraging to say, but there is no quick fix. Young children don’t know how to resolve conflicts peacefully. It takes a lot of time, patience and repetition for them to learn it. I know it’s frustrating, but ignoring it will only make it worse.
The most effective way to teach them about resolving conflict is during a time of non-conflict. Read and discuss books about character traits–kindness, patience, etc (I can recommend some if you like.)
Do not allow them to treat each other with disrespect. When they start to argue, step in and help them resolve the conflict. Over time, they will learn to resolve it on their own. You will get tired of having to intervene, but your efforts will have a huge pay off later. If it gets to be too much for you, then separate them for a while.
(My this sounds preachy. Forgive me?)
If my kids are fighting over a toy I tell them that they each get it for 2 minutes (they’re young so they have a short attention span) and then they trade. After going back and forth a few times one will get tired of it.
I also tell them daily that they are each other’s best friends. It sounds corny, but I figure if I tell them enough and they hear it enough one day it will really sink in and be true.
Time outs worked well for me. I set a timer and they couldn’t move from there spot. I also believed in a good swat on the rear from time to time if it came to that.
I also discussed there behavior with them when we were all calm.
I am not sure but at one point with my two middle children (I have 4) I actually put them in a room and told them they could not come out until they resolved there problems. They were about 9 and 10 at the time. I did this right before supper time as I knew they’d be hungry.
I also made sure they each got enough private/special time with me and my hubby.
Sorry I have no real advice for you here. I have two ages 7 and 9 and the fighting doesn’t become any less as they get older. I can’t wait until teenagehood. lol
Good luck!
Kim’s last blog post..Playing with the Teacher
I don’t know their age, but assuming they are young, they probably aren’t ready yet for sharing. I always think it’s silly how parents tell their two year old over and over to share, he isn’t ready for it, you know. If they are older, well, toys are a priveledge. I’d take ‘em away. I don’t know if there is such thing as kids that don’t fight.