I\'m Summer, a mouthy, sarcastic bitch. I\'m passionate about natural birth, long term breastfeeding, and living naturally. I curse too much, love tattoos, and will some day be crushed to death by my book collection. I homeschool, dream of gardening, and swing to the left. 
Momfinitions – Crazy Things That Only Moms Understand
TwitterMoms is have a fun contest for moms to write their own “Momfinitions”. Words that only moms/parents understand when speaking to each other. There’s a pretty funny list going on at ParentsConnect that will have you howling. After reading through and chuckling at several I thought I’d give it a shot and see what I can come up with.
Milk Bath [noun]- When you wake up soaking wet from leaking breastmilk all night.
ex. I had to change pajamas at 4 AM because I had a little milk bath last night.
Oh man, if that doesn’t happen on a regular basis around here. I’m always waking up milky from my overflowing cups at night.
Dirty Dancing [verb] – The act of trying to chase down a mobil child with a dirty diaper and a strong urge not to be changed.
ex. Whew! As soon as I smelt that poop I knew me and the toddler would be dirty dancing around the living room.
OK, is it only my kids who would have worn nasty diapers all day rather than just let me change then. That chance them down and try to change them dance got old fast.
Flappy Wings [noun] – The flaps at the top of a disposable diaper that stick up for no reason.
ex. Trey likes to pretend he is a bird at bed time and tries to fly with his flappy wings.
True story. . Cracks me up every damn time!
Minideath [noun] – When your child has a blood curdling meltdown over a tiny, not-even-visable scratch.
ex. When the cat stepped on Evan’s foot he had a minideath and begged for band-aids for his non-existent gaping wounds.
I swear we use more band-aids on things I can’t see than we do on actually wounds. *sigh*
Swoosh and sweep [verb] – when a child uses a huge squirt of toothpaste and then barely brushes for 30 seconds.
ex. The boys would swoosh and sweep every night if I didn’t help them brush more carefully.
That’s what I get for buying the flavored toothpaste, they want to eat it without giving a hoot to actually cleaning their teeth.
OK, so now that I’ve shared mine I want to see yours. Come on, leave me a ton of comments with your own silly/weird/obnoxious mom words! You know you wanna.
Oh gosh, I remember the breast feeding days — and the milk baths (so much less glam than Cleopatra’s lol)
Deanna Dahlsad\´s last blog post..Funniest Five Momfinitions
That Tom’s flouride-free strawberry toothpaste is considered a snack around here.
These are hilarious!
I love “minideath” and “dirty dancing”, so funny
LOL- you are hilarious. thanks for sharing these
Lisa Russell\´s last blog post..Stop Being Consistent
Great post. Not a parent, but still loved it.
Love this list.
The flappy wings cracked me up!
JessicaAPISS\´s last blog post..Momfinitions & Free Books for APISS Readers
Caffeinated chiuahuha: would be an awesome band name, but unfortunately, it is the result of when the children let the dog eat the coffee grinds.
Reiza\´s last blog post..Nice people ROCK!
Oh oh oh, I just thought of another one.
SING-A-LONG: Where mom rewrites the lyrics to songs to better suit her situation (and in the case of children’s songs, to make them far more snarky and far less annoying).
i.e. singing, “These boobs are made for nursing,” to the tune of Nancy Sinatra’s, “These Boots Are Made For Walking.”
It can also be rewritten using the word “squirting” for those “Milk bath” times.
“These boobs are made for squirting
And that’s just what they’ll do.
One of these days these boobs are gonna
squirt all over you.”
Reiza\´s last blog post..Nice people ROCK!
Love the post soooo funny love the wings hehehe
karen\´s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
Oh man…I totally used to have some that K and I used all the time but they’ve been lost in this rusty trap I call a brain…
Ohhhh, so that’s what they’re called! Flappy Wings!! he he he he! Love it! ♥
Br8eyes\´s last blog post..Celebrate getting older…
I was going to tell you that twittermoms stole your idea and then I reread this and realized it was written with that in mind.
I thought they had ripped you off.
Reiza\´s last blog post..Nice people ROCK!
hey summer!
you were one of the first 20 moms to reply to the momfinition contest so you WON $50 BUCKS! i want to pay you so please, please, please email me your mailing address!
i hope you’re having a great summer!
abby
abby.pecoriello@nick.com