I\'m Summer, a mouthy, sarcastic bitch. I\'m passionate about natural birth, long term breastfeeding, and living naturally. I curse too much, love tattoos, and will some day be crushed to death by my book collection. I homeschool, dream of gardening, and swing to the left. 
Mommy Won’t Let Me
Last Tuesday the kids and I went to the grocery store for a few things. In the parking lot was an older man, walking around sticking papers on people’s windshields. Seeing us he walked up, thrust a sheet of paper out, and began telling me about how his local church was putting together backpacks full of school supplies for the local kids. Smiling, he looked down at Evan asked him what grade he would be in this year.
“Mom doesn’t let me go to school.”
Let. I don’t let him. Now, he didn’t come up with this on his own. It’s a spin off of certain families members saying to him “it’s a shame your mommy won’t let you go to school.” and “If your mom let you go to school you’d be able to (insert whatever here).”
But it’s also a by product of the fact that he’s never actually been to school and has no idea what it really means. Cartoons don’t help either. Sid the Science Kid shows school as being 4 kids spending 20 minutes playing and singing songs. Caiou has maybe 8 kids just doing a lot of running and playing with a little reading and crafts involved. He doesn’t see desks, rote memorization, raising your hand to pee, not getting to pick up and put down things as you please. No, school is this place of only fun and play that mommy won’t let him go to. Possibly involving trampolines and ping pong tables and an assortment of other fun things we don’t have at home.
School starts back up in August here, which means the “Yay school!” message is already being broadcast loud and clear. Everyone is shouting how fun school is, how exciting, how much he’ll do. And I’ll be honest, I’m almost tempted to send him. I can guarantee that one week of getting up early, sitting at a desk, and not having a say in what he’s doing that day and he’ll figure out that maybe mommy isn’t trying to be mean. That maybe I was right when I tried telling him that school was a lot more than making a paper bag puppet and then going home. The first day that he realized that he was sitting at a desk quietly while Trey was at home coloring pictures and digging up worms from the yard he would have a change of mind.
But parenting isn’t about “I told you so”. So I wince when I hear him say I’m not letting him. I explain, again, that I don’t like him saying that no matter who he hears saying the same thing. I go through the list of what we do at home and what kids do at school, what is the same and what is different. And I wait for the next time he’s told “mom won’t let you go to school so you’ll never learn to read” knowing that even though he’s reading fairly well, he’ll repeat it to the next stranger who asks him about school. Because he’s five, and pleasing certain family members is high on his list of things he feels he has to do right now. Even if that means agreeing with them that mommy is so, so mean.
I went through very similar with Peter. This year he finally ‘got it’ all on his own by having a friend who goes to public school. At noon when we are long done with the ‘work’ part of our day he would ask if he could play with Olivia. It only took a couple days before he started saying things like “my gods what do they do all day that she’s still not home!”
That is so disrespectful that people would say those things to Evan. To try to bypass you like that. Honestly. He’s only five, why would you try to drive a wedge between him and his mom?
Blargh.
Amber\´s last blog post..What I Wish I Could Tell Her
I’ve been noticing things like that…specifically with Sid the Science Kid. Great show..but yea….the school thing. I wonder how to best approach that with my kids as well.
When Z starts talking about not “getting to go” to school, I remind her that to learn math, we get to bake pie and bread but at school, she’d have to sit quietly in a desk and do worksheets. Since she spent some time in a daycare preschool, she’s familiar w/ rote learning and wants nothing to do with it!
That would make me want to scream to the heavens…
That is the most terrible thing I have read recently. If your family members can’t be supportive, then they need to keep their mouths shut. I’m lucky that my family respects whatever choices I make, but I’m sure I will get the same types of comments from friends and acquaintances once I start our homeschooling journey. It is so incredibly WRONG, as Amber stated, for them to drive a wedge between you and your child. What the hell?