I\'m Summer, a mouthy, sarcastic bitch. I\'m passionate about natural birth, long term breastfeeding, and living naturally. I curse too much, love tattoos, and will some day be crushed to death by my book collection. I homeschool, dream of gardening, and swing to the left. 
Of Girls, Boys, and Gender
photo credit: beelerspace
There was a time when I wanted a daughter. A girl that I could share the stuff of female-ness with.
I got 2 boys.
But that was OK. The more I looked around the world and looked back on my own experiences, the more I decided trying to raise a girl was tough. And I didn’t think I had it in me to battle the nonstop sexualizing of little girls.
So naturally, I was then visited by the surprise pregnancy faerie who brought me a daughter. And with her an overwhelming supply of Disney princess themed, bubblegum pink, gender enforcing rules on a stick.
Or on a Wii mote. Same difference.
I’m not opposed to gender (which would be about as sensical as being opposed to gravity); I’m just opposed to its imposition on children too young to know better, but not too young to be warped by all the baggage it brings with it. I cannot say it better than this: “Turn down the volume on the gender coding. Respond to the child’s personality. Let your child be who he or she is.” Not gender-free. Just free to be whatever gender they are — whatever that means to them.
Being a girl has become as much a franchise as a gender, with everything you can imagine being marketed in both “regular” and “girl”.
I’m in the opposite boat. I was fully ready for the nonstop battle (almost looking forward it) for my future girl. I was raised to be a submissive woman and I wanted to teach my future girl that she was equal to a boy. I got 3 boys instead.
“Not gender-free. Just free to be whatever gender they are — whatever that means to them.”
Exactly. I have tried my best to stick to this while raising my sons.
Yesterday my husband and his co-worker (both military uber-male types) said the words “girl toys”.
I said, “There is no such thing as boys’ toys or girls’ toys.”
They said, “Barbie Dolls!”
I said, “No, companies make toys aimed at gender socializing our children. There’s a difference.”
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1 boy 2 girls here.My son, aged 7 plays with his younger sister’s doll’s house.Loves to cook, clean and play dad.My middle child and 1st daughter, aged 4 loves pink, princesses, fairies, but loves to get dirty, climb and race toy cars.My youngest, and 2nd daughter is dressed in gender neutral clothes (I don’t really like pink) and gets mistaken for a boy I don’t care.She’s only 19 months so she plays with anything.
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