On Staying Home

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Christine has a post up on being a stay at home mom and has asked for other people to share their own stories. I found an older post where I share far too much about our income, but I wanted to write another post to expand on it.

For me it was a choice that I had to make. I just could not imagine handing my newborn baby over to a total stranger to raise so I could “live the American dream”. I remember being just a few weeks postpartum and sobbing, begging Dearest to promise me that I wouldn’t have to return to work.

There are two common stereotypes about stay at home moms. One is that we’re sitting on the couch all day watching soaps and eating bon-bons. Frankly I hate soaps, I only dream about eating chocolate all day, and the boys only let me sit down in 15 minute bits if I can bribe them with puzzles or crayons. The second myth, however, is that we’ve all got this fabulously wealthy husbands who can afford everything. I’m still waiting for the one I ordered out of the catalogue to arrive, so until then I’m stuck with Dearest and his barely above minimum wage paychecks.

Funny/not so funny story. A couple years ago I was a month late on a credit card payment. Completely honest, it just slipped my mind. But they were ready to punce and I got the call soon after from an irrate woman badgering me about mkaing a payment immediately and threatening to take it out of my paycheck. When I laughed and explained that I was a stay at home mom and had no paycheck for her to take apart her reaction immediately was “Well, it must be nice to just have someone take care of everything for you.” in the snottiest tone ever.

That entire conversation has stuck in the back of mind since it happened.

The fact is most single income families aren’t rolling in the dough. Most of us are barely getting by. But for those who make the choice it’s fine. There is a whole change in perception that takes place. Things that I often hear people complaining about paying for we don’t have, and that’s wonderful! The idealized American family with the big screen TVs, oversized house, and two brand new cars isn’t anywhere in our sights. Who cares about affording all the crap it takes to keep up with the Jones when you’re never home to use any of it? Do the kids need brand name, $100 jeans or their mom home to play cards with?

I’ve had people tell me they could never afford to stay home, and they’re often right. You can’t afford to stay home with two brand new cars, a morgage bigger than your yearly income, and an addiction to auto accessories that cost more than my monthly food budget. Staying home means giving up a lot of the things most people are brainwashed by commercials into thinking they need.

But it’s worth it to me.

[tags]stay at home mom, staying home, family, income, money[/tags]