Relaxing and thinking about life


For the past week or so I’ve been feeling more than a little stressed. Its been just the typical family stuff: money, the kids, the constant cleaning, the extra 20lbs I’m destined to never lose. So after the kids went to bed I ran some hot water in the tub, poured in my vanilla sugar bubble bath, grabbed a good book, and soaked. About five minutes into the soak and Dearest came in with a bottle of wine and a chilled glass, then went to watch TV and left me in peace. Never let it be said that he doesn’t understand the importance of a mom on the edge.

The book I grabbed to read was A Reasonable Life: Toward a Simpler, Secure, More Humane Existence. It is one of those books that if I suddenly came into a huge sum of cash I would buy a million copies and left them on everyone’s doorstep with anote pleading them to read it. Every time I start to feel sucked into the world of prepackaged, mind numbing, convenience I read it and remember why I made the choices I did.

He talks about our cultural drive to buy more, more, more in a misguided attept to fill some empty spot. About people who think that vegetables come from cans and have never even seen fresh foods growing in the dirt. He compares his childhood, when him and the neighborhood kids would play baseball in the park with an old, chipped bat to kids today needing $100 shoes and special uniforms. He talks about how parents used to be their kid’s heros by fixing a broken toy. But not toys are made of hard plastic and if they break you just toss them out and buy a new one, and the heros have become strangers with their faces plastered all over cereal boxes and 30 second TV spots.

Last night I only got as far as the chapter on children before the wine started affecting me and my water started cooling. What he says reminds me a lot of Gatto’s 6 Lesson Schoolteacher. Maybe that is part of why I love this book so much. Gatto was one of the first things I read when E was little that set me firmly in my decision to homeschool. Especially the fourth lesson.

Good people wait for a teacher to tell them what to do. This is the most important lesson of all, that we must wait for other people, better trained than ourselves, to make the meanings of our lives. It is no exaggeration to say that our entire economy depends upon this lesson being learned. Think of what would fall apart if kids weren’t trained in the dependency lesson: The social-service businesses could hardly survive, including the fast-growing counseling industry; commercial entertainment of all sorts, along with television, would wither if people remembered how to make their own fun; the food services, restaurants and prepared-food warehouses would shrink if people returned to making their own meals rather than depending on strangers to cook for them. Much of modern law, medicine, and engineering would go too — the clothing business as well — unless a guaranteed supply of helpless people poured out of our schools each year. We’ve built a way of life that depends on people doing what they are told because they don’t know any other way. For God’s sake, let’s not rock that boat!

Or, as Mate says in A Reasonable Life

In other words, our children are not learning to think, they are simply perfecting the act of trasfering information from one piece of paper to another without putting any of themselves in between. They are not learning to form opinionsor gain experience, feel passions or even make interpretations; they rely on all the answers from outside. It is no wonder that they grow up to accept the most mind-numbing careers, and elect the most half-witted politicians, because they’re used to doing as they are told; they have taught themselves that the answers lie in someone else’s condensed view of life.

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Published by: Summer on June 26th, 2007 | Filed under life



6 Responses to “Relaxing and thinking about life”

  1. Awesome Mom Says:
    June 26th, 2007 at 6:46 pm

    Wow, those are amazing quotes. I happen to be a fan of science fiction stories that explore the theme of what if the world as we knew it suddenly ended: How would we survive if we did not have all the manufacturing abilities that we have now? What happens when you can’t run to Target to buy clothing?

    I intend on trying to raise my kids to me a little bit more self sufficient than the average kid. In fact as soon as we are financially able to buy a house with a lot land we are planning on raising all of our own food. I have always been attracted to that lifestyle. That is one reason that we went to cloth diapers. I hated having to throw diapers away and I wondered how we would do it if suddenly we did not have access to a store to buy more.

  2. kim Says:
    June 26th, 2007 at 10:17 pm

    I think I need to read that book. My husband and I were just talking about how our radius of play was so huge when we were little. His limits were the edge of an island. Our kids on the other hand, they all want to be indoors myopically playing video games….we would ride our bikes for miles. I’m sure it will produce different types of people.

  3. melissamarkham Says:
    June 29th, 2007 at 11:47 am

    Excellent points! As our society has filled up with more conveniences, more games and everyone has more stuff, we are getting further and further away from how to think for ourselves, how to occupy ourselves, and how to teach ourselves.

  4. rbach Says:
    July 11th, 2007 at 5:29 am

    Thanks for the book recommendation and the quotes. I’m not sure my family is completely ready for the simple life, but probably more the reason to read it & challenge ourselves a bit.

    I do think your points (& the quotes) about learning to challenge assumptions, not wait your turn, are incredibly important. In my wife’s and my case, we’ve had to be vigilant advocates for our daughter, in particular (lots of medical issues for her to deal with). I’m convinced if we had just waiting for something to happen, nothing would have happened or worse. Key skills, for sure!

  5. Karen Says:
    November 2nd, 2007 at 1:43 pm

    Great quote selections! Very affirming to me and my chosen lifestyle–thanks!

  6. Welcome To My Party Says:
    March 7th, 2008 at 9:02 am

    [...] recently and he’s still breastfeeding and will until he’s ready to quit. I’ve cloth diapered both of my boys and loved it. I don’t believe in corporal punishment for children. Some times [...]

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