I\'m Summer, a mouthy, sarcastic bitch. I\'m passionate about natural birth, long term breastfeeding, and living naturally. I curse too much, love tattoos, and will some day be crushed to death by my book collection. I homeschool, dream of gardening, and swing to the left. 
The Rest of the Story…
photo credit: Katie Tegtmeyer
Monday I wrote a post making fun of myself for losing my cool and flashing the mailman. The whole point of the post was to share a funny, embarrassing moment where I looked like an ass. Because dudes, I do that quite frequently.
Some people didn’t take it that way. Some people took it was me trying to glorify, or at least condone, getting pissed and yelling at my kids. Which, as they pointed out, would be hypocritical since I also wrote a post about how parents shouldn’t yell at their kids. (Comments were deleted because they did not follow the comment policy. Specifically, they were extremely hateful.)
The thing is, of course I wrote about being hypocritical. The post was making fun of myself. I wouldn’t mock myself for making a perfect pie, or share an embarrassing story of a moment of perfect zen. I’m not a perfect person, I’m not a perfect mom. I am perfectly capable of knowing something is wrong, and then turning around and doing it, but that’s about all I’m actually perfect at.
I assumed everyone would read the post and realize I was poking fun at myself, would realize I was being a dumb-ass, and realize that doing so caused me to show the mailman my purple underwear. And trust me, I’m sure I’ll yell again. And I’ll know it’s wrong, and I’ll swear I won’t do it again, and I’ll work really hard, and take lots of walks, or leave the room, or go eat a fat piece of chocolate cake. And then I’ll be frustrated and tired and pissed off, and I’ll yell at my kids. Because like I said on Twitter:
The only people who think I’m a perfect parent are the trolls who hang out at my blog looking for chances to tell me I think I’m perfect.
OK, so in the essence of being open and honest, let me tell you what happened after I grabbed my mail and slammed the door in his face:
- I put my jeans on. Oh yeah, those suckers went right on.
- I called in the kids, sat them at the table with crayons and paper.
- We had a talk, again, about fighting verses walking away. About not whining over every tiny little thing. About walking away instead of escalating the issue.
- I apologized for yelling at them, explained that I was frustrated and that was no excuse, but mom gets angry just like you do and has the same feelings.
- I hugged and kissed each of them, then asked them to hug each other.
- We colored pictures together and enjoyed the peace. Until the next time one of them lost it with the other one. Because their kids, they have far more of an excuse to not control their emotions than I do. They’re still learning after all.
So there, that’s the rest of the story. Am I still promoting yelling after saying yelling was bad? Do you still think I don’t realize that I did the opposite of what I said to do? Most importantly, can we stop with the accusations that I think I’m perfect?
I only hang out with sucky parents, so do not EVER become a perfect one.
Ever.
Christine´s last blog ..Screw Black Friday
LOL!
I laughed at your story because it was funny and … I could see myself doing something similar.
I’m also laughing now because the trolls are stupid. I don’t really know what is so horrible with being a *good* parent but I’m sure those trolls don’t even have kids. There is nothing wrong with being a good parent, striving to be a better parent, and attempting to inspire others to be better parents as well.
I think the trolls are just jealous.
I missed commenting on the original post, but I tell ya: I got it. We all have moments of screamyness and pantlessness (sometimes they even occur at the same time) and then we move on. Here’s to a better day!
I prefer imperfect parents. I had a friend who was like a mini-Michelle Duggar: never screamed, always spoke sweetly and disciplined gently, was just all sugar and spice, and kept a perfectly tidy house to boot. It made me feel like shit, because here I am with my messy house, yelling at my kids, and sometimes even (gasp!) spanking them. When she moved away, I was sad, but also a little relieved.
You hit the nail on the head with the troll comment about looking for you to be perfect. I wonder which is more egregious: yelling at your kids, or skanking around on blogs eagerly waiting for a chance to internet-yell at a total stranger because they acted human.
You know? There are people who will just take any opportunity to tear you down. I’m sorry that some of them visited you.
Amber´s last blog ..Handmade Christmas
Oh yes, of course, I personally *always* behave up to my very best intentions every minute of the day. Hah! Having gone back and read both your two other posts, I feel kind of sorry for those people who trolled you – sounds like they’ve had a sense of humour bypass.
Happy ICLW
Lou´s last blog ..I killed it!
I am blown away by people’s need to tear down others or “put them in their place”… I mean, seriously? When we blog openly about parenting, family life, how it is versus how we’d like it to be… there’s gonna be some contradictions. Duh. Because we aren’t perfect… we’re human.
I think your honesty is so refreshing and anybody who sees it as an opportunity to be a shitty person to you… is just that. A shitty person.
Much love.
Jasie VanGesen´s last blog ..parenting from the gut, hip, heart… what have you.