When Toddler’s Attack

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It happens to them all. And yet, even knowing that it’s going to happen you just aren’t prepared. And how could you be? How does any mother prepare for the moment when her sweet, little, cuddly baby chunks a shoe at her head while screaming “No, I not wear!”

It’s a startling experience.

And there’s no way to know when it might occur. Some grow horns and a tail near their first birthday, some wait until they are closer to three or four to begin levitating the bed and spewing pea soup. But make no mistake about it, they all turn into mini-demons for a while.

Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely adore my sons. I understand that they’re going through a rough time stuck between baby and big kid. It’s confusing and uncertain and there are so many boundries to test and buttons to push. It’s hard work being a toddler! But even at their worst, on the days I’m ready to put them to bed at 3PM and open a bottle of the hard stuff I still adore them. I may not like them, but the love is still there. And if I stop and relax I can find something to giggle about. That scrunched up forehead, those pursed lips, that wrinkled nose. Only your child could make pissed off seem cute.

That’s why I was giggling while reading the Queen of Spain share about her own little Spawn of Satan. Don’t let the innocent face fool you, that how they lure you in. If anyone else is thinking of calling up a priest to perform an exercism on your toddler let me share a book that worked for me. You won’t even need an old priest and a young priest to make it work.

Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, Energetic by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka has been my savior over and over again. It is full of great advice on dealing with tantrums, transistions, playing with other kids, disapointment, and just getting through the day with a child that won’t be still. One great tip is to change the way you see your child instead of trying to change him. Instead of saying Evan is arguemenative I say he’s “opinionated”.  And, well that’s a good thing to be. Suddenly his insistance on doing things his way doesn’t seem so bad. Trey’s not stubborn, he’s persistent. They’re not wild, they’re just energetic. It’s amazing how shifting your perception can change how you react to your child.

The entire book is full of advice on helping your child deal with his or her own intensness and helping you deal with it as well. Such as identifying the attention getters and teaching your child to use words instead. And giving them time to smoothly transition from one thing to another to avoid sudden meltdowns. And most importantly controling your own tantrums. Oh, you know you have them too. They may be grown up versions, but they’re still tantrums. It’s ok, we all do it.

I can’t emphasis enough finding and reading Raising Your Spirited Child for yourself. You’ll find so many “aha!” moments when it all makes sense. And with practise you’ll find yourself better able to deal with your child’s spiritd-ness. There is also a workbook that you can use to work through making positive changes.

[tags]toddlers, children, tantrums, Raising Your Spirited Child[/tags]