You’ve Got Timing Kid

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Trey has perpetual good timing. Or make that bad timing. Anytime we try to go anywhere it takes about half an hour to get them dressed, packed, and ready. And then the second I get Trey in the car seat and buckled in, he poops. Every. Damn. Time.

So I was thrilled that we made it out this morning without any last minute running back into the house. We hit the store for cat food, ran to the post office to mail a package, and since I had extra money we swung into the library to pay off fines. Yes, I don’t return my library books in time.

Still doing fine I thought we would go hang out in the kid’s area for a little before we had to get home for lunch. Our kid’s area is in the far end of the basement and the hallway leading up to it is where the books that are for sale are kept. As we passed by there was a woman in there going through the books. I thought she looked familiar, but the boys didn’t let me pause long enough to try to figure out who she is.

Of course you know what happened. We were there 15 minutes and Trey, of course, had a dirty diaper. A wrenchingly nasty one. That started the fun of wrangling the smelly child and trying to convince the hyper one we had to go already. At one point Trey ran out into the hallway, straight to the woman bagging up books. And he stunk, badly. When I ran out to get him I realized who she was.

I won’t name names, but I went to school with her. Back then she looked like a Barbie doll. And she still does. Perfect figure, perfect face, perfect clothes, perfect long blonde hair. She drives a BMW, did I mention that. Not that I’m petty or anything.

So here is Ms. Perfect Real Life Barbie Doll, buying a dozen bags of library books, probably to donate to some charity and be even more perfect, being accosted by my poop smelling toddler.

It’s all in the timing.

[An aside: I told this story later to Dearest who then teased me ruthlessly about it. He says now I'll be spending my reunion hiding behind the curtains as I'll no longer be the weird girl from school, but the weird girl from school who has poopy kids. ]

[tags]life, kids, poop stories[/tags]